Flash Exercise Online Portfolio
CARE FOR A MUFFIN?
[FlashXer] Exercise: October 28. 2008
Good morning FlashXrs. I am unprepared for today's exercise, so I am picking up a book, make that several books to find a line to use as our prompt. Believe it or not, not everyone has great opening lines.
I chose the second line from H.R. Knight's What Rough Beast, although I like the first line as well, but it would be too limiting.
Prompt: I had no way of knowing this meeting was going to change the course of my life.
In the subject line, your name, the word Change and your title.
Thank you and happy writing. ...Rita
10/30/08 Janine's Change "Care For A Muffin?" 114 words
"I had no idea this meeting was going to change the course of my life," said Dirk.
"What do you mean? It was just a staff meeting. What's the big deal?" said Jeff.
"Well, there were no bagels left when I got there. I had to settle for a bran muffin instead."
"I'm still not following, Dirk."
"I found a diamond in the middle of the muffin. Don't you see how this changes my life, Jeff?"
"Uh, no. I don't, but that's a huge diamond."
"It's right here in the paper. There's a million dollar reward for finding the stolen diamond from last week's heist. I'll send you a post card from the Bahamas."
10/30/08
Dear Janine,
A great response to the prompt, although again your dialogue can be tightened here and there:
"I had no idea our meeting would change my life."
"It was just a staff meeting - what's the big deal?"
"There were no bagels left so I grabbed a muffin."
"So . . . .?"
"I bit into a diamond!"
"In the muffin? Lemme see."
"Check it out . . . ."
"It's huge!"
"I'll bet it's from last week's heist."
"You know, there's a million-dollar reward for this thing."
"Maybe I'll send you a postcard from the Bahamas."
Jim
10/30/08
Hi Janine. That Dirk is one lucky fellow! A very creative story for the
prompt. Well done. I like the way you write about rewards; you think big!
Harriett
10/31/08
Hi Janine. Neat little tale. Nice response to the prompt.
Regards, Mike
10/31/08
Hi Janine,
This is a cute story. Nothing to cite.-Rita
10/31/08
Janine,
Another zinger. What fun. So much said in so few words. Have you ever considered cartooning. You have a gift for getting a point across so succinctly. No tech nits on this one. Well done,
Sharon
website created by Janine Bouyssounouse.
Last updated 11/05/08