Flash Exercise Online Portfolio
POSITIVE ACTION EQUALS HOPE
[FlashXer] EXERCISE: FRIDAY, OCTOBER17, 2008
Good Morning, all.
I gotta tell you that the weather in the North East of these
here United States should be a cause for alarm. This AM
it was very cold, quite a contrast from the 80 degree temp of
yesterday afternoon. I don't mind the cold so much...it is
just that the contrast might lead one to getting the flue,
or something. Quick changes can't be healthy.
At any rate, the weather you gotta deal with...it is the way
things are. So maybe the thing to do is to ignore it, and
spend your time working on this prompt. Here it is, ready
and waiting for your undivided attention...have fun.
YOU KNOW, IGNORING THOSE PROBLEMS WON'T
MAKE THEM GO AWAY. YOU GOTTA TAKE SOME
ACTION...POSITIVE ACTION. COMPISH?
Usual rules. 1000 words. In the subject area please,
your name, the word compish (I think it means understand
in Italian, if not, pillory me) and the story title.
Have fun, if you complain too loudly there will be a couple of
leg breakers at your fron door, armed with ball bats. Got it?
Compish?
Enjoy the torn cartilages.
Irv
10/17/08 Janine's Compish "Positive Action Equals Hope" 211 words
"Positive action? You want to see positive action? I'll show you positive action," said Amy.
"Hey, take it easy. I was just saying that problems don't go away by themselves," said Jim.
"Positive Action!" said Amy as she lit a fire under the lawyers and law enforcement to handle the problem.
A few weeks later... "So how about that whole disaster the stalkers made of your life?" said Jim.
"Law enforcement is arresting people. Lawyers are prosecuting people. I'm giving out as much information as I can to get people on the right page. Things are moving right along," said Amy.
"So, have any of your problems caused by the stalking been resolved?" said Jim.
"No. I'm living in my car and the money for food is down to a critical level. All I have to do is survive until all of this work done by law enforcement and the lawyers yields a result that actually makes my life better. I can only do so much," said Amy.
"So, your actual problems have not gone away at all, even with all of that positive action?" said Jim.
"I still have hope that people will start doing the right things. Hope is as positive as I can get right now," said Amy.
10/17/08
Dear Janine,
An interesting premise, although when only two characateres are speaking you don't need dialogue tags every time.
Jim G.
10/17/08
Janine,
Awwww, a story with a moral. I like it. I like Amy's attitude. Good opening line to hook the reader. I must know what happened and why she has such resolve. Good conflict as to how she goes about it. As I said, I like the closure with it's moral. But, I hope Jim is not a significant other. I don't like him! No tech nits. A good quick kick to the culture attacks going on these days. I enjoyed the read,
Sharon
10/19/08
Hi Janine,
As always, I enjoy reading your flash stories. The only comment I have, and perhaps it;s just me, is in your dialogue, you always end them with "said XXX". It is used so much it distracts for your characters interaction. Perhaps an occasional, "XXX said," or using the character's name with said, would be a little less distracting. But that's just me.
Keep Writing.
Hal
website created by Janine Bouyssounouse.
Last updated 10/19/08