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CHAOS REIGNS SUPREME
[FlashXer] EXERCISE: TUESDAY, JUNE 02, 2009
Quite obviously, he discipline that had me getting these
done early in the day has gone away. It seems that these
days, I don't have the time or the energy to rush to the
computer and get the prompt in before the sun rises.
So bear with me, please. It may happen that my energy
will come back, and with it the drive to get them done
early. At the moment though, it is not happening. So, sue me
sue me...shoot barbs through me, I do the best I can.
Here it is..hope it works for you...
I DON'T GET IT. WHY IS THEM COPS ON MY CASE?.
I AIN'T DONE NOTHING...HONEST
Usual rules. 1000 words. In the subject line, please
your name, the word Cops and the story title.
Have fun...stay outa jail...although with over 2 million inmates
at the moment, you be in good company.
Have fun
Irv
06/02/09 Janine's Cops CHAOS REIGNS SUPREME 117 words
In this day and age the honest man is the one who must watch out. The cops are out to get them. It makes their days easier since there are fewer honest people to catch than the overrun of the crooks.
Yes, it is chaos that reins supreme these days. It's so bad, the zombies are the ones running the offices and public works. Everyone else is busy being a bad guy or getting chased by the cops.
So what does the honest person do when they take their water bill in to get it paid and the zombie behind the counter scoops out their brains? It really is the end of life as we know it.
06/02/09
Hi Janine,
This reads like an essay, not a work of fiction. Notic how you establish a premise in the first sentence, like a formal essay does, then go on to try to prove your point.
It was a fun ready, anyway.
Nothing cited in your manuscript.
Regards, Mike
06/02/09
Hi Janine
Thanks for submitting this story for us to read and review.
Interesting concept, society run by zombies, who seem to think just as much as the public servants in the same positions do at the moment. The first paragraph felt a bit clunky to me, especially "than the overrun of the crooks".
Just my thoughts and views on your story to take or toss as you see fit.
Kind regards
Scott
06/03/09
Hi Janine,
LOL! -Rita
06/03/09
Hi Janine,
It was short, sweet and to the point. Neat little story. No nits.
Hal
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Last updated 06/04/09