Flash Exercise Online Portfolio
HOW DARE YOU?
[FlashXer] EXERCISE: TUESDAY, AUGUST 19, 2008
I've been watching whatever TV i can find, these days----I've had a
plethora of swimming and volleyball on he olympics, (don 't get me
wrong, I am
amazed at the skill and dexterity of those people, especially the
gymnasts. And now
that I am at that point in life where stairs become an obstacle, I am
even more
impressed, but I cannot abide those syrupy voices and those feigned
tones of excitement
when someone does something, anything during the games) and I have
been listening to
someone discuss the prtocols of the E mail. You don't say dear John
in your letters, you
don't use caps (they are shouting,) etc, etc. And you know what? This
is a world I am visiting,
no loner a real part of, because I really don't understand it.
People walk down the street witha phone in
their ear, people disturb us in restaurants with banal conversations
on the cell, people drive
cars, actually drive cars muttering into he air, into their cells.
Ten years ago you had to concentrate
on what you did, now you go along blabbering into the ether. What
did all of these talkers
and squakers do ten years ago. The world was quieter I think, maybe
no better but quieter.
WB Yeas said it: "this is no no country for old men"...but I am not
quite ready to embrace the alternative...
Okay, enough of this, here is your prompt.
IS THAT A THREAT? HOW DARE YOU THREATEN ME?
Usual rules. 1000 words. In the subject line, your name, the word
Dare and
the story title. I dare you to write to this, write a good one and
you will
be able to stand tall, and no worry about text messaging (whatever
that is)
letters that don't stat right, and everything else. And you might
even discover
a sense of accomplishment. Have fun.
Irv
08/20/08 Janine's Dare "How Dare You?" 109 words
"Is that a threat? How dare you threaten me?" Jack said to Jill.
"I was just saying. I won't have time for you if I have to do it myself." said Jill.
"You will have time for me because I will do it. It's my job." Jack said.
An hour or so later, Jack came back from doing his job.
"Are you done?" asked Jill.
"Here is your pail of water from up the hill. Now can we get busy in the bedroom?" said Jack.
"I just wanted you all hot and sweaty dear. I like you better that way." said Jill as she dragged Jack into the bedroom.
08/20/08
Hi Janine. Cute play on the nursery rhyme. Too many words expended on talking about doing a job, not doing a job. Slowed down the tale, and didn't mean much to it, except sweatness.
Nothing cited in your manuscript
Regards, Mike
08/20/08
Hi Janine,
A very different twist on the fairy tale. Clever. Agree with Mike, though, think you can cut some words for the same effect.
Regards,
Catherine
08/22/08
Hi Janine,
LOL!!! Good job! -Rita
06/30/09
Hi Janine,
Good to hear from you again. Thanks for the five new pieces. Great stuff!
I have added the set to your section of the Site and updated your bio at:
http://www.short-humour.org.uk/writersshowcase/writersshowcase.htm#JAB.
The new stories are at:
http://www.short-humour.org.uk/writersshowcase/anotherfiveflashfictionstories.htm.
Let me know if anything needs to be changed.
Best wishes,
Brian.
website created by Janine Bouyssounouse.
Last updated 06/30/09