Flash Exercise Online Portfolio
OOPS
EXERCISE: TUESDAY, MARCH 25, 2008
Years ago, many years ago, I used to get up and out of the house
at 6:15 to catch a bus for the ninety mile trip to New York City.
Thee were a bunch of us who did this, every day. And in a way it was
an interesting part of life...and even if you haven't done this, I
bet you
can develop a story about it. It doesn't have to be MY commute...it
can be any.
Mine ended when he company moved south...and I stayed up here because I
didn't feel comfortable moving. But, that's another story. At any rate,
see what you can do with this...I hope it sparks an idea, it might
even spark
a longer story, or a novel. Now wouldn't that be nice?
AN EARLY MORNING COMMUTE
Usual rules. 1000 words. In the subject line, please your name, the word
Early and the story title. Stand in line now, you've got to have
your ticket punched before you
board the bus.
Have fun...
Irv
03/27/08 Janine's Early "Oops" 96 words
Flying on the dragon on the way to rescue the daily damsel in distress, Harold found the sudden flip a bit daunting.
He awoke several hours later tangled in a tree with his dragon grazing on local livestock in the nearby field.
Harold's dragon decided the best way to get Harold out of the tree was to huff and puff and burn the tree down.
Being the damsel in distress rescuer, Harold watched from above as his hapless dragon searched through the charred remains of the tree that saved him from his fall only hours earlier.
03/27/08
Hi Janine,
Cute fantasy tale. Though I read the last sentence 3 times, I still don't get it. The sentence is very long for a flash tale, which contributes to my fallure in decyphering the content.
Regards, Mike
03/27/08
Janine,
I like this little story. I do feel sorry for the
dragon. What a mistake to make!!!
Thanks for a fun read.
Connie
03/28/08
Hi Janine,
this was truly funny. A fairytale that took a turn. haha.
I enjoyed this. Have made a few comments in the text.
thanks for a fun read,
Joan
sunshine99@Safe-mail.net wrote: OOPS by Janine Bouyssounouse 96 words
Flying on the dragon on the way to rescue the daily damsel in distress, Harold found the sudden flip a bit daunting.
He awoke several hours later tangled in a tree with his dragon grazing on local livestock in the nearby field. @@@Hilarious@@
Harold's dragon decided the best way to get Harold out of the tree was to huff and puff and burn the tree down.@@
@@maybe add 'Later' here?@@@Being the damsel in distress rescuer@@ also don't need this description again ,@@@@ Harold watched from above @@this threw me a bit as I wasn't sure what you meant at first. I would consider changing the tense here@@@@his hapless dragon searched through the charred remains of the tree that saved him from his fall only hours earlier.
website created by Janine Bouyssounouse.
Last updated 03/28/08