Flash Exercise Online Portfolio
THE LEAK
[FlashXer] EXERCISE: SUNDAY APRIL 1, 2007
I haven't researched it. But I seem to think this is the first time
I've had to write a prompt on April Fool's Day. That opens up all
sorts of strange
opportunities...but I have resisted the lure of the lousy joke, and
played it pretty straight. No kick me signs, no chairs pulled out from
under you, just a straight problem to solve with words and sentences.
And, if you can't do that, then the prompt is right....
NO FOOLING. WE'VE GOT REAL PROBLEMS
Usual rules. 1000 words. In the subject line, please your name,
the word Fooling, and the subject title.
Get to it...have fun, and produce something. if not, the joke is on you.
Irv.
4/1/07 FOOLING Janine Bouyssounouse "The Leak" (117 wc)
"There’s a leak in the roof, Bert." Mathilda stood with her hands on her hips.
"Put a pot under it. It’s not a big deal." Bert turned the page in the newspaper.
"The snow’s meltin’ and the roof’s leakin’." Mathilda grabbed a pot and put it on top of the towels sopping up the mess.
"I heard you the first time, dear." Bert folded his paper and went outside for a walk.
After his walk, Bert came in the kitchen door only to find the kitchen filled with snow and ice. He noticed a corner of his wife’s apron sticking out of the wet slush.
"I guess she wasn’t foolin’ around about the leak in the roof."
4/1/07
Janine,
I like your style. This is a great little tale. But I want to know where Bert went on his walk. I think he did a snow dance. No nit from me.
Norma
4/2/07
This is priceless, Janine! We just went through the process of putting a new roof on our house, so I can appreciate this story to its full extent! The ending is perfect. These two characters remind me a little of Ma and Pa Kettle. I hope you'll write more stories featuring them. A couple comments below.
Harriett
He noticed a corner of his wife’s apron sticking out of the wet,***delete comma***slush.
"I guess she wasn’t follin’***foolin'?*** around about the leak in the roof."
4/3/07
Hi Janine, What a fun story! If you could tighten this down to 100 words, you might consider sending it to Flashshots. I marked one suggestion below, use or toss as you see fit. Thanks for the fun read, Sandra
sunshine99@Safe-mail.net wrote: THE LEAK
"There’s a leak in the roof, Bert." Mathilda stood with her hands on her hips.
"Put a pot under it. It’s not a big deal." Bert turned the page in the newspaper.
"The snow’s meltin’ and the roof’s leakin’." Mathilda grabbed a pot and put it XXX Since towels weren't mentioned before consider - she grabbed a pot and put it under the leak. XXX on top of the towels sopping up the mess.
"I heard you the first time, dear." Bert folded his paper and went outside for a walk.
After his walk, Bert came in the kitchen door only to find the kitchen filled with snow and ice. He noticed a corner of his wife’s apron sticking out of the wet, slush.
"I guess she wasn’t follin’ around about the leak in the roof."
This story has been published on
The Short Humor Site.
website created by Janine Bouyssounouse.
Last updated 05/07/08