Flash Exercise Online Portfolio
THOSE LITTLE REBELS
[FlashXer] Exercise: October 31, 2008
Happy Halloween FlashXrs!
Today's prompt is a little obvious. How could I resist giving you a Halloween prompt? It doesn't matter if your story is scary, funny, a tear jerker or something else. Just keep the theme.
Prompt: Halloween.
In the subject line: Your name, the word Halloween, and the title of your story.
Happy writing on this All Hallows Eve Day! ...Rita
11/5/08 Janine's Halloween "Those Little Rebels" 120 words
"What are you going trick or treating as, Harry?" asked Will.
"I'm going as an accountant. How about you?"
"I'm going as a policeman. Do you think our parents will be upset?" asked Will.
"My mom is pretty open to it, but maybe we should change at the party," said Harry.
At the entrance to the party, all the Martian parents were dropping off their little ones dressed as flowers and trees.
Inside the building, all the little ones were changing into their human costumes and flooding out the back door to go trick or treating in the human-loving suburb.
Not all Martians have accepted the humans as equals yet. Equality for all is still in the process on Mars.
11/06/08
Excellent response to the prompt, Janine. I really like the idea of a
commonplace event set on another planet (you've already got me half
believing there really are Martians on Mars celebrating Halloween), but the
story itself is a little confusing. I had to read it several times to
figure it out. The heart of the problem for me was the everyday human names
of your main characters. If Mars has still not accepted humans as equals,
why would Martians give their children human names? I understand not
wanting to give the ending away too early, but you could look through a name
book or find name sites online that offer human names that are just unusual
enough to work for your story. I'm just using these names as an example,
but the ending would've been more believable for me if I had read about two
children named Sebastian and Ingersol. With just a little tweaking this
story will be a winner.
Harriett
11/06/08
Hi Janine,
Short and too the point, butI feel it was missing something. -Rita
website created by Janine Bouyssounouse.
Last updated 11/12/08