Flash Exercise Online Portfolio

A VISIT TO THE COUNTRY CLUB

[FlashXer] EXERCISE: FRIDAY, APRIL 18, 2008

Although they weather people have been saying today will be very warm, at the moment it is almost 40 degrees, closer to freezing than to sweating. How the hell does one figure it? I'm not even sure that it is worth a comment, but I have to write about something, don't I? Well, even if I don't I have this compulsion, and since the forum is MINE, what the hell. At any rate it is chilly here in South Jersey. I expect it to warm up and will plan accordingly. My day is already accounted for, another of my dear friends has passed away, so that is a full day of services, pall-bearing and offering comfort. As I get older, this happens more and more, and soon there will be no one left. Probably, not even me.
Here's your prompt for today...see how it works for you

DON'T BE SUCH A JERK. GET IT DONE, BUT DO IT MY WAY

Usual rules. 1000 words. In he subject line, please, your name, the word Jerk (nothing personal here) and the story title. As always any idea you get from a prompt is okay in the group...no need to follow the prompt or even refer to it. We are to use them as idea generators, not maps for a story.
Have fun
Irv


04/18/08 Janine's Jerk "A Visit To The Country Club" 101 words

"Don't be such a jerk. Get it done, but do it my way." said Butch.

Jon did as he was told. He always did as he was told. His big brother was always in charge of everything, even this bank job.

Jon did things just the way his big brother wanted them to be done. When the cops arrived, Jon was taken into custody along with Butch.

The funny thing was that Jon got to go free as he was the informant. Butch got his stay at the country club called prison. They have free room and board there, you know.



04/18/08
Good morning Janine,
I like this. Short and sweet ; ). My only comment is that the first sentance may be unnecessary. I think it basically repeats the first paragraph.
Happy Friday!
Catherine


04/18/08
Hi Janine. Good response to the prompt. Cute little tale about 2 jerks.

Regards, Mike



04/19/08
Janine,

A nice little story! One minor thing - it wasn't clear to me if Jon was an informant before the arrest or not. If so, if there was a way to make that more clear, I think it would be stronger.
C





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