Flash Exercise Online Portfolio
JIM'S SECRET WEAPON
[FlashXer] EXERCISE: SUNDAY, MARCH 2, 2008
I don't believe there is anyone in this world, anywhere, who hasn't
at one time or another
told some sort of a lie. Or lived one. So, when in the recent theory
prompt I think
I mentioned a little bit ago, John Irving was quoted as saying that
the writers of
fiction are liars, (or something like that) the thought came to me
that maybe that would be
a decent prompt. I hope it is. If not, well, I keep trying. So rig
up a real prevarication,
folks and tell us it in a provoking story.
THAT'S A BOLD FACE LIE. YOU'RE NOTHING BUT A FREAKEN LIAR!
Usual rules. 1000 words. In he subject line, please, your name, the
word liar and the
story title. Hey, do us all favor and avoid those blatant lies. You
know the ones:
"sure, I'll respect you in the morning" "I promise, this won't hurt
at all" and
the business one, "The check is in the mail." Make up your own
lie...and go from there.
I'll bet you have enough practice to be convincing.
Have fun. If you don't just lie about it.
Irv
03/02/08 Janine's Liar "Jim's Secret Weapon" 113 words
"That's a bold face lie. You're nothing but a freaken liar!" Said Jim.
"Jill told me it was true, so I know it's true." Sneared Meg.
"I don't care who told you. I did not set fire to the school records in the office." Yelled Jim.
"Then how did you get a passing grade in all of your classes when we all know you didn't go to class?" Asked Meg.
"Now that is a totally different subject." Jim opened his special box, pressed a couple of buttons and put it in his pocket.
"You are the greatest guy I've ever met. I'm going to go tell everyone how wonderful you are." Said Meg.
03/02/08
Hi Janine,
Meg hasn't knocked on my door to tell me how wonderful Jim is, but your story does the trick. Neat little tale. And to think I had to work for all my A's at the university.
Regards, Mike
03/03/08
Hi Janine,
The secret weapon is a fun idea. I like it.
I think the story could be tightened up a bit. I've made some comments in
the text.
Linda
On Sun, Mar 2, 2008 at 10:07 AM, wrote:
JIM'S SECRET WEAPON by Janine Bouyssounouse 113 words
"That's a bold face lie.
@@ possibly cut next line, it's repetitive@@
You're nothing but a freaken liar!" Said @@ said, lower case? @@ Jim.
"Jill told me it was true, so I know it's true @@possibly cut so I know
it's true@@." Sneared Meg.
"I don't care who told you. I did not set fire to the school records in
the office." Yelled Jim.
"Then how did you get a passing grade in all of your classes when we all
know you didn't go to class?" Asked Meg.
"Now that is a totally different subject." Jim opened his special box,
pressed a couple of buttons @@ possibly cut rest of sentence @@ and put it
in his pocket.
"You are the greatest guy I've ever met. I'm going to go tell everyone how
wonderful you are." Said Meg.
03/06/08
Hi Janine,
You have an imaginative concept here. I'm thinking 'magic box' that controls people's minds.
Maybe you should take this further, into a longer story. It has potential to weave into fun.
Small nit: All words after the end of quotes should end with lower case alphabets. It gets a bit distracting to see them in Upper case. Also a few spellings - sneered, freakin
best,
Joan
website created by Janine Bouyssounouse.
Last updated 03/06/08