Flash Exercise Online Portfolio
THE SHORT STORY
[FlashXer] EXERCISE: TUESDAY, NOV. 11, 2008
Today is, of course, Veteran's Day, here in the good
ole USA. And we remaining veterans are to be honored
I suppose. I don't revere the day for that, I remember it
because it is the day my eldest son was born. 11/11/51.
i remember it well. My wife had had a hard time with the baby,
he breeched and she had difficulty---even with the doctor's help-
getting him outa there. But after several days, it seems, he was
delivered and they both seemed to be well. It was well after midnight,
(are any kids born during the day, I wonder) and after everything
cooled
down, I got in my care an went for a long, contemplative drive through
the streets of Washington. We lived near the district in those days.
I remember much of what happened subsequently, too. The briss,
if you don't know what a briss is, ask a Jewish friend, the
controversy with
his name with my mother-in-law, and all the rest. Was it worth it?
Yes, it was. He is a contributing member of society, a stalwart person
and almost, but not quite as bright as his mother. But then, few
people are.
At any rate, here is our prompt for today, nothing to do with V
eteran's Day
but it might give you creative jolt and get you writing. So get with
it....
I KEEP LOOKING FOR AN OPEN DOOR,
SHE SAID. IF I FIND IT I'M GONNAT PUSH MY
WAY THROUGH. I'VE GOT THE BALLS FOR IT,
DESPITE MY LIMITATIONS.
Usual rules. 1000 words. In he subject line, please, your name
the word looking and the story title. Should you find yourself on he
wrong side of the door,
just hammer on it with both fists, with luck someone will open it.
Have fun.
Irv
11/12/08 Janine's Looking "The Short Story" 72 words
"I keep looking for an open door. If I find it, I'm gonna push my way through. I've got the balls for it, despite my limitations," said Sally to no one.
"Sally!" called Mrs. Nelson.
"What?"
"The ball room is at this end of the hall."
"Thank you, Mrs. Nelson. I wish I were taller, so I could read the signs on the doors. These balls keep falling all over the place."
11/12/08
Very cute Janine!
Just one comment below.
Catherine
THE SHORT STORY by Janine Bouyssounouse 72 words
"I keep looking for an open door. If I find it, I'm gonna push my way through. I've got the balls for it, despite my limitations, " said Sally to no one. ### for some reason 'said Sally to no one" sounds awkward to me. Maybe, "Sally mumbled to herself"? ###
"Sally!" called Mrs. Nelson.
"What?"
"The ball room is at this end of the hall."
"Thank you, Mrs. Nelson. I wish I were taller, so I could read the signs on the doors. These balls keep falling all over the place."
11/13/08
This is really cute, Janine! I made one comment in your manuscript.
Harriett
"I keep looking for an open door. If I find it, I'm gonna push my way
through. I've got the balls for it, despite my limitations," said Sally to
no one.@@@I DON'T LIKE SAID SALLY TO NO ONE. I THINK SOMEONE ELSE MENTIONED
THE SAME THING. HOW ABOUT SALLY MUMBLED or SALLY SAID?@@@
11/14/08
Cute story, though the last line threw me a bit. I had to re-read to see what she was talking about, then it dawned on me. ...Rita
11/15/08
Janine.
I would have liked to have seen this fleshed out a little more. It ended much to quickly.
Hal
website created by Janine Bouyssounouse.
Last updated 11/15/08