Flash Exercise Online Portfolio
I WAS FRAMED
[FlashXer] EXERCISE: FRIDAY JANUARY 2, 2009
Some time ago, I was reading a Joe Gores DK
novel, and to my surprise encountered Parker.
Parker was not a Joe Gores creation, he was a character
in the novels published under the name of Dick Stark--
a pseudonym of Donald Westlake, who sadly died
yesterday evening on his way to dinner in Mexico.
I was a little confused and so I wrote to
Gores to check it out. He responded saying that he
and Westlake were friends, and that when he encountered
Parker he was very jealous since Parker was the kind of
character he wished he had invented. So he asked and was
permitted to include Parker in one of his books. Which he
did. That hard boiled world is apparently pretty small.
At any rate, Westlake's passing is very sad, and I wish him
and his family well. If there is a heaven for writers, then
hopefully Mr. Westlake and his various writing aliases should
certainly occupy a seat close to that of the Lords.. Mr. Westlake,
I salute you and wish you a long and peaceful rest.
YOUR HONOR, THIS IS ALL A RAILROADING.
I NEVER DONE NOTHING WRONG, HONEST....
Here is your prompt. Do with it as you wish.
Usual rules apply, 1000 words. In the subject line, please
your name, the word Railroading and the story title.
And I wish all of you a very happy 2009: maybe after the
20th, things will start to get better.
I truly hope so.
Happy New Year.
Irv
01/02/09 Janine's Railroading "I Was Framed" 236 words
"I was framed!"
"Of course you were. You do have proof you were framed, right?"
"Yes I do. You just have to subpoena the records from the company who is accusing me of stealing their corporate secrets."
"And what would this do to help your case?"
"It would show that I can't be accused of stealing corporate secrets that were implanted into my body. They were a gift. I didn't steal anything."
"Okay, I'll admit this is a new one. They are accusing you of stealing what they planted into your body illegally, right?"
"Yes, your honor, that's correct."
"Alright Mr. Green, I will make sure your lawyer has the subpoena and we will meet again in a week."
A week later...
"Well, Mr. Green, it does look like there is evidence galore that you are an innocent victim and the people trying to frame you are actually the criminals. You're off the hook, but I expect you to be very cooperative with nailing this case against the corporation."
"You've got it, your honor. I will start documenting what I know immediately."
Two years later...
"Mr. Green, thanks to you an entire criminal corporation has been brought to its knees and you are now a millionaire. That is, once we wring the money from their hands. Your lawyer will be in contact."
"So, until then, I'm penniless? Yep. That's the legal system. Have a nice life."
01/02/09
Hi Janine,
Interesting response to the prompt. Nothing cited in your manuscript.
Regards, Mike
01/03/09
Hi Janine
Thanks for submitting this story for us to review.
Very interesting, spreading a flash over 3 years, I've not seen this done before. The narration indicating the skip in time worked like jumping forward in a movie with the on screen text.
Poor Mr Green, three years of court battles and no compensation, sounds like a real court case. The dialogue was believable and well paced.
As always, this is just my opinion, so take or toss the comments as suits.
Kind regards
Scott
01/03/09
Janine,
A 'So true!' read that was fast paced and to the point. Nice. Good hook with opening declaration. Good conflict told mostly in believable dialog. Then a surprise twist. This reader felt you were going to end with Mr. Green actually guilty, but you're ending was so much more clever. An interesting, well written read,
Sharon
01/04/09
Hi Janine,
Good story. You gave me another giggle. -Rita
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Last updated 01/04/09