Flash Exercise Online Portfolio

COMING OF AGE

[FlashXer] EXERCIS: FRIDAY, OCTOBER 10, 2008

Once again my schedule has gotten screwed up, so I am running a little late in my prompt posting. Sorry. But I needed to be at a blood lab early and then had some chats with a PT specialist, and these things take more time than I ever allot. So, if you have been sitting with breath baited, forgive me. I shall try to do better as the month goes by. But sometimes doctor appointments and other obligations get in the way, and I just can't seem to juggle the time to make them not be a factor. But I keep trying to do better. Please excuse my lapses

WHEN YOU TOLD ME THESE TERRIBLE THINGS WERE GOING TO HAPPEN, I THOUGHT YOU WERE KIDDING ME....

Usual rules. 1000 words. In the subject line, please, your name, the word terrible and the story title. Some times terrible things happen, and you can't do much about them. So you ride with them.. Ride with me, I will get better.
Irv



10/11/08 Janine's Terrible "Coming Of Age" 98 words

"When you told me these terrible things were going to happen, I thought you were kidding," said Mary.

"Now, now, it isn't all that terrible to have antennae and ESP when you think about who your dad is," said Mary's mom.

"But I thought that story about my dad being from another planet was a joke," said Mary.

"Oh no. It's all true. He'll be here for your birthday. Now that you have come of age, he'll be taking you for training on your new abilities on the weekends. It will be fun," said Mary's mom.

Mary fainted.




10/11/08
Hi Janine,

Cute little tale. This one is a shoo-in for Flash Shot.

Regards, Mike




10/11/08
Hi Janine,

Interesting storyline, but I would have to have seeen the teen discovering her antennae. Her horror. And I think their should have been some more emotion. It just sounded like two people talking about something banal and not life altering. -Rita




10/12/08

Excellent response to the prompt, Janine! Love the ending. Nothing to cite in your manuscript.
Harriett



10/13/08
Cute. Just a couple comments below.
Good luck with it!
Catherine

COMING OF AGE by Janine Bouyssounouse 98 words

"When you told me these terrible things were going to happen, I thought you were kidding," said Mary.

"Now, now, it isn't all that terrible to have antennae and ESP when you think about who your dad is," said Mary's mom.

"But I thought that story about my dad being from another planet was a joke," said Mary. @@@think this response needs a little more intensity IMHO@@@

"Oh no. It's all true. He'll be here for your birthday. Now that you have come of age, he'll be taking you for training on your new abilities on the weekends. It will be fun," said Mary's mom. @@@assume she means taking her to her Dad's planet but wonder if you should specify that to give her fainting even more punch?@@@

Mary fainted.






website created by Janine Bouyssounouse. Last updated 10/13/08