Flash Exercise Online Portfolio
KICK THE BUCKET
[FlashXer] EXERCISE: FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 12, 2008
FlashXer list members:
I don't think I grouse a lot, (maybe I do) but it is important that you
participate in either subs or crits. I was disappointed in the number
of stories we got for 9/11, and so the number of crits were down too.
Look at the things that are required of you...and please start
participating more.
I am a pretty lenient guy I think, but I mays soon have to become
more strict. Pam pays me on the number of crits and subs we get,
and with the numbers down, my income is seriously curtailed. You are
taking
bread from my mouth when you don't take an active role in this thing...
are you trying to drive me on to the streets, with a military cap in
my lap
and a sign that says, starving veteran, please contribute?
Not satisfactory. So start writing so I can take a deep breath
again...and
enjoy my gruel and leisure. Don't force me to be more strict...
just read and write, read and write...
THE LAST THING I WROTE WAS MY WILL AND TESTAMENT. I THINK I MAY
SOON BE NEEDING IT...
Usual rules, 1000 words. In the subject line, plase your name, the
story title and the word
testament.
If you don't start writing soon, you may find one of my goons at the
door and then you will
really need that paper.
Just have fun...
Got it?
Irv
09/13/08 Janine's Testament "Kick The Bucket" 54 words
"Esther! I think I'm kickin' the bucket soon," said George.
"Again?" said Esther.
"This time it's for real, Esther. I think you better prepare," said George.
"Okay, George. I have the will for you to sign. I also have the towels to soak up the water from the bucket. Which is it?" said Esther.
09/14/08
Hi Janine,
LOL! Nicely done. -Rita
09/14/09
Hi Janine,
Consider dropping the dialog tags on sentences 2-4. Since you use names
within the dialog, it's clear who is speaking. Cute story.
Linda
09/14/08
Janine,
Cute. I can see this in a 'For Better or For Worse' cartoon segment. And, I'm sure this occurs with some long married couples from time to time. No nits,
Sharon
09/14/08
Janine,
nicely written, but I think you can do without most of the 'he said, she
said'. After the opening, we know who is speaking, and to whom.
Hal
09/15/08
Very cute ; )
Catherine
This story will be on Flashshots, a daily email of flash fiction on 01/12/09. You can sign up for a subscription to the daily emails on the page.
Flashshot Daily Genre Micro-Fiction
FLASHSHOT January 12, 2009
FLASHSHOT
Daily Genre Flash Fiction
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ISSUE TWO THOUSAND-FOUR HUNDRED-THIRTY-FOUR January 12, 2009
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KICK THE BUCKET
By Janine Bouyssounouse
"Esther! I think I'm kickin' the bucket soon," said George.
"Again?"
"This time it's for real, Esther. I think you better prepare."
"Okay, George. I have the will for you to sign. I also have the towels to
soak up the water from the bucket. Which is it?"
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Janine Bouyssounouse is toning up her writing skills with Flash Fiction to
improve her educational materials. For more info, see her website at
www.edonyourown.com
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© 2009 Janine Bouyssounouse
Check out PULPWORK PRESS and their line of Pulp-Descended books by Joel
Jenkins, Derrick Ferguson and Joshua Reynolds. http://www.pulpworkpress.com/
01/13/09
Hi Janine,
Congratulations on getting this neat little tale published in Flash Shot.
Regards, Mike
01/14/09
Hi Janine,
Congratulations. Cute flashshot. -Rita
website created by Janine Bouyssounouse.
Last updated 01/14/09