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THE STRANGE DREAM
[FlashXer] EXERCISE: SUNDAY, MAY 18, 2008
Folks are getting ready for Memorial Day. In some circles it is a time
for celebration...and the old farts, like me, revel in their days of
glory.
I don't, really. I just sort of ignore it. So do many of my friends.
It isn't
that we don't appreciate the holiday, but some how it belongs to the
younger people. If we honor anyone it should be those dedicated
patriots who are fighting the war now. I won't comment on how I feel
about
it (the war) but the people fighting it should get kudos, cheers and
all of our
support. I know that I would not want to be there, it must be a hell
of place
to be. And it can't be easy. So if you are going to celebrate
memorial day...
raise a glass to those people who are there trying to make sense out
of a very
bad deal.
WATCH IT, THAT SOB IS SLICK AS A SNAKE
The prompt has nothing to do, really with the morning diatribe. It
is a prompt,
that should give you an inspiration for a story. Good luck with it.
Usual rules. 1000 words, and in the subject line of he 'E mail, please
your name, the word Watch and the story title.
Have a good week
It is getting closer and closer to vacation time.
Irv.
05/18/08 Janine's Watch "The Strange Dream" 273 words
Ira woke up from a strange dream. He shook it off and went to work.
Later, there was something about the feel of the oil on his hand that reminded him of his dream. He continued to work on the car.
Ira thought about the dream again when he was stirring honey into his tea at dinner.
In the middle of the night, Ira was shaken awake by his wife. He woke up shouting, "Watch it. That SOB is slick as a snake."
Ira wondered if he should explain his dream of wrestling with an oil covered man in a wrestling ring in front of thousands of people. He decided to go back to sleep, since explaining the dream to his wife didn't sound like a good idea.
The next evening, Ira decided to slip into one of those other kinds of bars he normally didn't go near. After a couple of beers by himself at the bar, a guy sat down next to him.
Ira nearly jumped out of his skin as he realized this was the guy in his dream.
Dirk turned to Ira and said, "I never go into places like this, but something pulled me here tonight. Do you ever have really strange dreams?"
Dirk and Ira decided to leave the bar and go get something to eat across town. They talked until the place closed down for the night. They had each made a new friend.
Dirk and Ira still meet every Friday night at that same diner and every once in a while, they go on a hunting trip together. Some dreams are enough to change lives.
05/18/08
Hi Janine,
This is very well written and I love the idea. Dreams can truly be powerful! I am wondering if you should start this with the dream? Just a thought.
Thanks for sharing!
Catherine
05/18/08
Hi Janine,
Clearly written. One nitty thing: you used 'doesn't' instead of 'didn't' in one of the sentences. That's where he went to the bar.
Regards, Mike
05/20/08
Hi Janine,
I really like the concept, the dream he has and how it points him to someone in real life.
Having worked with dreams (in interpretation), I would suggest you use the real symbolism for 'wrestling with an oil covered man in a wrestling ring in front of thousands of people.'
You have a great dream here that by itself and its interpretation can take your story forward.
Get the 'oil' / slippery person' into the story, and the 'wrestling/ in conflict with another person or self' into the story. (maybe you could research the symbolism).
Let the dream prepare him for a situation where he wins with a 'slippery person', instead of them just becoming friends.
Or maybe have them become friends, and look for the interpretation together. That will add a whole new dimension to the story.
hope this helps. (made a few comments in text)
best,
Joan
sunshine99@Safe-mail.net wrote: THE STRANGE DREAM by Janine Bouyssounouse 273 words
Ira woke up from a strange dream. He shook it off and went to work.
Later, there was something about the feel of the oil on his hand that reminded him of his dream. He continued to work on the car.(@@@@i like the way you create the references to the oil in the dream before you actually mention it@@@
Ira thought about the dream again when he was stirring honey into his tea at dinner.
In the middle of the night, Ira was shaken awake by his wife. He woke up shouting, "Watch it. That SOB is slick as a snake."
Ira wondered if he should explain his dream of wrestling with an oil covered man in a wrestling ring in front of thousands of people. He decided to go back to sleep, since explaining the dream to his wife didn't sound like a good idea.
The next evening, Ira decided to slip into one of those other kinds of bars he normally doesn't go near. After a couple of beers by himself at the bar, a guy sat down next to him. @@@makes me wonder what's going to happen next@@@
Ira nearly jumped out of his skin as he realized this was the guy in his dream. @@@@nice@@
Dirk turned to Ira and said, "I never go into places like this, but something pulled me here tonight. Do you ever have really strange dreams?"
@@@@Dirk and Ira decided to leave the bar and go get something to eat across town. They talked until the place closed down for the night. They had each made a new friend.
Dirk and Ira still meet every Friday night at that same diner and every once in a while, they go on a hunting trip together. Some dreams are enough to change lives.@@@@this part left me wanting@@@
05/21/08
Hi Janine,
Cute story. I have a few suggestions below. -Rita
THE STRANGE DREAM by Janine Bouyssounouse 273 words
Ira woke up from a strange dream. He shook it off and went to work. @@@You can just say woke
from...@@@
Later, there was something about the feel of the oil
on his hand that reminded him of his dream. He
continued to work on the car. @@@You are telling
not showing. Try- He worked on...@@@
Ira thought about the dream again when he was
stirring honey into his tea at dinner. @@@While he
stirred@@@
In the middle of the night, Ira was shaken awake by
his wife. He woke up shouting, "Watch it. That SOB
is slick as a snake." @@@Again you are telling not
showing@@@
Ira wondered if he should explain his dream of
wrestling with an oil covered man in a wrestling
ring in front of thousands of people. He decided to
go back to sleep, since explaining the dream to his
wife didn't sound like a good idea. @@@Don't repeat
the same thing@@@
The next evening, Ira decided to slip into one of
those other kinds of bars he normally doesn't go
near. @@@Ira slipped into a gay bar that he
normally...@@@ After a couple of beers by himself at
the bar, a guy sat down next to him.
Ira nearly jumped out of his skin as he realized
this was the guy in his dream.
Dirk turned to Ira and said, "I never go into places
like this, but something pulled me here tonight. Do
you ever have really strange dreams?"
Dirk and Ira decided to leave the bar and go get
something to eat across town.@@@Dirk and Ira left
the bar and went to get...@@@ They talked until the
place closed down for the night.@@@You can eliminate
down for the night.@@@ They had each made a new
friend.
Dirk and Ira still meet every Friday night at that
same diner and every once in a while, they go on a
hunting trip together. Some dreams are enough to
change lives. @@@Still telling, not showing@@@
website created by Janine Bouyssounouse.
Last updated 05/28/08